Journeys by Marie Sexton
May 20, 2011
27 Comments
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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about stories, and about journeys, and about how really, they’re exactly the same thing. What is a book if not a journey of the mind? And in stories and journeys, as in all things, different people prefer different things.
When I was in high school, my friend Jon and I spent a stupid amount of time in his car, driving. Just driving. It didn’t matter where. Whether we went west into the mountains, or east into the farmlands, we were always sure there something we needed to see just around the next bend. If given a choice between a paved highway and a dirt road, we’d take the dirt road every time (even though it had to be hell on his old Mustang). Some of our friends didn’t get it. What was the point of driving around aimlessly? They wanted to know where we were going. After all, what was the point of driving if you weren’t going to actually get anywhere?
For us, the point was the journey: the hours we spent in the car, eating red vines and corn nuts, talking about school and love and what we thought we knew of politics. If I had to name the one place that most epitomizes the glorious optimistic freedom of my youth, it would be the passenger seat of Jon’s car.
Now, don’t get me wrong. We got into a fuckload of trouble this way. We missed curfews. We got lost. We got his car stuck on the dam in the middle of winter, even though we’d specifically been told not to even think about going up there. We had to hitchhike back to town and call the parental units. Once, we spent hours driving into the mountains only to realize we’d used all of our gas. We were at least forty miles from town. We scraped together every cent we had – and believe me, we combed every inch of that Mustang! In the end, we bought $2.37 in gas – mostly in pennies – and coasted down every hill. (We made it home!) 
We discovered a place just past the edge of town: a strange collection of houses in the middle of a field of high grass. A road led in, but didn’t seem to lead back out. There were huge, unfenced barking dogs and derelict cars. There were never any lights on. There was no sign of life at all except those angry mutts. The crazy thing is, we couldn’t ever find it in the light of day. We spun stories of the horrors going on in that crazy, scary little place. (Incidentally, it’s since been paved, and is now practically in the middle of town.)
One weekend, we took Jon’s Mustang up into ski country for the sole purpose of finding the town of Climax, Colorado. Why, you ask? Why the hell not? With a name like Climax, it had to be good, right?
Wrong. We never found Climax. It was snowing in the mountains and the roads were icy. The sun went down and visibility was bad. And to top it all off, Jon’s Mustang broke down on the highway. We had to hitch a ride into the nearest town, which happened to be a ski town, right in the middle of prime ski 
season. The only hotel we could find with vacancies at all was unbelievably expensive. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I still owe Jon money for that trip. (Jon, would you prefer cash or check?)
This same sense of finding adventure is something I now share with my husband. For our honeymoon (fifteen years ago!), we filled the back of the pick-up with camping gear and spent three weeks with no plan at all – nothing but topographical maps of both Colorado and Utah, and a surety that there must be something we needed to see.
Once, my husband and I thought we’d take a shortcut through a military reserve. Word to the wise: don’t try this! It was a maze of unmarked roads. We were lost for hours. We could see the highway we were trying to get to, but the road we were on just kept turning and turning. We eventually found what seemed to be the military base, except it was completely deserted. As we tried to backtrack our steps, we finally saw signs of life: a truck full of people on the side of the road. Our relief at finding evidence of habitation was quickly dispelled though, as we drew closer.
Each and every one of them was wearing bright yellow full-body Hazmat gear, hoods and all.
It was a scene straight out of an X-Files episode. Their masked faces all turned in unison to watch us drive past. We waved at them and waited for the men in black to pull us over and haul us away. (Luckily, that last part didn’t happen, and we did indeed make it off of the reserve.)
I love the adventure. I love the uncertainty. I love people who are willing to jump into a car just to see how the road will unwind. In my early days in college, I had to drive back to my hometown in Wyoming for my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary. While working my shift at Taco Bell, I tossed out an invitation: “Anybody want to go to Wyoming with me?” And a girl named Mary, who I barely knew at the time, said, “I will!”
I can’t even tell you how much fun we had on that trip. We drove all the way across I-80 and back, singing along to the Grease soundtrack and eating more Cheetos than anybody ever should. Later, we were roommates, and we were bridesmaids in each other’s weddings. I still have There Are Worse Things I Could Do on my iPod, and I think of Mary every time it plays. (Mary, if you’re 
reading this, all I can say is, “Person! Person! Person!” And although the rest of you are thinking I’m nuts, I guarantee Mary’s laughing her ass off right now.)
Well, I’m older now, and maybe a bit wiser. I at least don’t have to worry about running out of gas money. But if given a choice, this is still the type of trip I prefer – the kind where you wing it, and hope for the best. Sometimes you end up hitchhiking home in blizzard. Sometimes you get lost and have to pull over and pee in a ditch (exactly Day 2 of HaMEMA). But sometimes you end up discovering some crazy little gem. (Like the Fort Sumner Billy the Kid Museum – seriously, the most random collection of crap ever, but god damn did we have fun there!)
I respect the fact that not everybody can handle this kind of journey. My mother-in-law Judy would go batshit crazy if she even tried! She plans her trips start to finish, each step of the way. She needs to know ahead of time which National Monuments she’ll be seeing and whether or not they have a senior discount. She needs to know which hotels she’ll be staying at and whether or not they have continental breakfast. She wants to know of there’s going to be a toll road on the way. She leaves nothing to chance, because uncertainty ruins her fun. She likes surety. And it works for her. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing things her way. My point is not to say that one kind of journey is better than another. It is only to point out that in journeys, as in all things, there are differences.
I think the best thing we can do, really, is to know which kind of journeyer we are, and plan appropriately. Because if you put a woman like Judy in the car with
me, she’ll probably have a nervous breakdown. And if you put me in the car with her… well, I’ll certainly make the best of it, but I’ll be staring longingly down every dirt road we pass, wondering what might have been.
So if you’re the type of journeyer who prefers to know the destination ahead of time, we might not be the best of traveling partners. If you need to know that $20 will cover your expenses and you’ll be home in time for curfew, you’re better off finding another car. But if you’re willing to roll the dice, then hop in! All you need is an open mind, and a sense of adventure. And maybe a bottle of wine. There’s a corkscrew in the glove compartment, because honey, I’ve done this before! I don’t even care if you roll the windows down when the AC is going full-blast. Name your destination. I might get us there, or I might get us lost on a cornfield in 
Kansas. Either way, I hope it’s a journey you never forget.
Marie’s Latest release is Between Sinners and Saints from Amber Allure on May 29
Email: msexton.author@gmail.com
Website: http://MarieSexton.net
Coffee and Porn in the Morning blog: http://CupoPorn.wordpress.com
Find me on Facebook, or at http://MarieSexton.net/
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Madonna196
Bogusia
Larissa
Sirius
I totally get it, Marie…..I can do either way but going out with the idea that “our schedule’s loose!” is incredible. And dirt roads all the way, baby!
My sister and I helped her daughter move from Kansas to North Carolina. We left with one of their cars 2 days early….so we could go wherever the wind took us. Interesting little side roads, an amazing park with every color of iris you can imagine and the swans!!! It was so much fun.
Our reward? Great memories and pics and her drill sargeant of a daughter waiting for us in NC with lists of things to do.
(I do love her but that is one super type a personality who needs to RELAX!!) 
Great article, Marie!
Oh, that sounds like a great trip! Up until the Type A at the end. LOL.
Marie
I love this post. I have done this when I visited California for 6 weeks, and other than San Diego and San Francisco we didn’t plan anything. What a joy that was. Everyone should have at least one vacation where most of their plans are up in the air.
I did the peeing in the ditch thing on a road trip to New Orleans.
Glad you liked my rambling.
Any guys reading this might not appreciate how much harder the ditch-peeing is for us ladies (or, women at least. I probably can’t claim to be a lady)! Heidi was trying to hold up a blanket, although I’m sure my big white behind was still more visible than it needed to be.
Ahhh…..the public peeing. I am proud (?) to say that I’ve been forced to pee near a tree in every national cemetary I’ve visited in the U.S.
LOL. That’s quite the claim to, …ummm… fame?
Nice Marie, Road Trip let me just stow the kid somewhere, but I could always call the hubs from the road (maybe). Peeing in ditches (been there) ,its probably cleaner than some bathrooms on the road!
Ha! Good point!!
Thanks for sharing great memories Marie. There is nothing like a road trip.
My favorite was a 6 week trek through Europe with my brother and his wife in his VW Bug with a map, youth hostel cards, the ability to speak decent German (and limited French) and a 5 lb jug of peanut butter I brought over from the states. Since I needed a plane to get there, it was a bit of planning, but once there it was – have passports, will drive!
I’m jealous!! That sounds amazing!
Now I feel like going somewhere just for the fun of traveling. I guess it’s high time I finally go to driving school.
Loved the post.
Thanks Eva! I really had the urge to jump in the car and hit the road after I wrote it, too.
I can certainly relate to the aimless driving — ended up in the most amazing places in upstate NY that way.
Oh, I bet! My one trip to upstate NY was in the car, but it was with my MIL. That was when we learned just how different our traveling styles are. It’s amazing we both survived.
What an awesome post, Marie! I’m sensing a kindred spirit here. The most fun I have is picking a direction and seeing where I end up. I’ve road-tripped all across the USA (mostly back roads and cough-sized towns), both New Zealand islands (mostly by bicycle), and a teeny bit of Australia. Every single day was wide open, completely unknown and a total adventure.
I once had a friend ask me what the rules of a walkabout were. I had to laugh. Rule #1: There are NO rules. You go and let it take you where it takes you. That’s living!
Hmm… I think I’m overdue for another little random tour.
Thanks for sharing your road trips, Marie!
Thanks LC! Unfortunately, I’m finding that a bit more planning is required now that I have a kiddo in tow, but another few years and we should be able to start winging it again.
Hey Marie. I grew up in a family where going for a drive to nowhere was a regular Sunday occurrence. Usually in the area we lived, but down back roads to see who used to live where and share stories about the “old days”. Let’s go get ice-cream, 30 miles away. Sure there was an ice-cream place close, but why not drive for an hour first? Just for the hell of it.
I’m kind of in the middle between you and your MIL. I used to be more like her and maybe I’m moving more towards you. Two years ago my daughter and I drove a huge loop in the US, from Ottawa, to Cleveland, Columbus, Asheville (people were freaked we’d driven all that way when they saw our Ontario license plate), Winston-Salem, Richmond, DC, Pittsburgh and home. Then last summer we did Maine, Boston, Cape Cod, Long Island, New York City and Philadelphia. Meeting up with friends along the way on both trips. The internet is great for finding you a free bed and free friends. I started doing the “Hotwire” thing. The night before we left, we’d find a hotel on-line at our next destination. Not too many dirt roads, stuck to my mapquest directions, but once we got to City A, we’d decide what we wanted to do and play it by ear.
So for my kid and I those are great times. She’s met some amazing people, we’ve had hours together in the car, seen some cool things and I fell in love with Asheville.
I did get lost in the backwoods with a colleague going to a staff Christmas party. We were given the wrong map and ended up in a construction zone and dead-ends and after 90 min. of driving we gave up and called and found our way home. LOL It was a riot.
If you can get lost like that and end up laughing about it, that’s what counts.
Oh, Marie, I so want to travel with you! I’ve discussed with several friends how much travel is like life, and how critical to go through life with someone whose travel style is compatible. For me it’s all about picking a destination (to give me a direction) then going along with whatever comes along. It’s almost always better than whatever I might have planned, given my limited knowledge vs the unlimited possibilities of reality.
My wanderings started just after high school when more of us (including me!) had cars. We’d close our eyes and point at the map, then head for wherever the finger landed. Or pick a town name that sounded interesting (we so would have gone for Climax if it’d been on our map!). Whether we got to the town or not was immaterial, that just gave us a direction to head in.
I did the same thing my last day walking around Venice, and ended up being shown the sights by a handsome Italian man who’d seen me looking at my map wondering where the hell I was (not that I cared, I was just curious).
I’ve had similar sorts of adventures (mostly good, a few not so) all around the US, Canada, Ireland, Britain, Thailand, various European countries…thanks for the trip down memory lane! (And that’s another journey full of surprises
)
Hooray for handsome Italian guides! Woohoo!
My husband is famous for “Let’s see where that road goes!” Which is lovely and fun until we are already running late and he wants to take the scenic route… Back when gas was cheaper, we would take off on a Saturday or Sunday morning and see where we could go. We are about an hour from the Blue Ridge Parkway and it’s a favorite drive.
Ha! Yes, there’s definitely a time and place for wanderlust, and five minutes before you HAVE to be somewhere is not it! LOL.
Brilliant post, Marie. Used to do the same thing in high school. Two or three of us would pile in my old Cougar and set off in one direction or another. I saw more of the Western Kansas/Eastern Colorado/Southern Nebraska scenery via back roads that way. It is a beautiful country. I need to schedule some free time to just take off like that again.
Yes, lots of roads to travel in that area. Jon had a Cougar, too, but it was rarely in working order.
A woman after my own heart, Marie. And no surprises there!
I think I’ve sensed the feeling you describe above in your beautiful books, because that yearning, hopeful curiosity is in your voice as a writer too, natch.
Growing up in Texas, I did a lot of random driving myself. Strange quests for nothing in particular that consumed oceans of gas and time. My best friend and I used to go drive to New Orleans for a sandwich or San Antonio for a beer, just because we could and we were so frantic to ESCAPE-ESCAPE from the Republican hellpit into which we’d been born. Actually, with that same wanderlust I moved to Europe in my early twenties with a small duffel: I had a couple shirts, couple pairs of trousers, a motorcycle jacket on my back and a pair of harness boots on my feet. Plane ticket to London and a single night reserved in a B&B and I was gonna figure the rest out when I got there.
I did.
Thanks for this wonderful post. And don’t stop wandering…. I plan to bump into you out there one of these days, in the middle of the afternoon… at a backroad coffee shop selling taxidermied squirrels and stale gum. LOL
Thanks Damon! And I can definitely see those poor squirrels in my mind’s eyes. LOL. Looking forward to that day!
I’m afraid I’m a lot more adventurous in my mind than I am on the road
But you are giving me an idea for our next holiday.
Great article