I remember being probably a vile child. I’d watch those all-action westerns which were on a LOT when the British TV had little to fill their schedules with and I remember being annoyed at a very young age with how much galloping there was going on.
So yes. Today hasn’t much to do with m/m–other than the portrayal of horses within the m/m books I’ve read–it’s all about The Horse.
I’m often stunned that an author will research the hell out of their era but get horses so very very wrong, but then, as I say, Hollywood has a lot to do with it–most people never come into contact with horses in their lives, and from the few non-horsey friends I took down to the stables to give them rides, it seems that most people do think a horse is a bit like a car. Just on, kick and gallop to destination.
No no no.
First of all, a horse is only as good as its feet. The old poem (first written source, 1380, so it may even be earlier than that.) is as true today as it was the day it was made up.
For the want of a nail, the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe, the horse was lost.
For the want of a horse, the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider, the battle was lost.
For the want of a battle, the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horse-shoe nail.
So rarely do I see any horse with thrown shoes, or in fact anything wrong with them at all. No – the riders simply leap on, or get into their carriages, drawn by seemingly robot-droid horses and gallop around the countryside at a blistering pace, taking no consideration of the distance, the weather or even the state of the roads, or lack of ‘em. The only time the stables get any attention in m/m novels it seems, is when someone ties up someone else and rogers and whips ‘em senseless.
I read an M/M book over the holidays where the protagonist rode his horse 400 miles in 5 days. Rested a day then rode back.
Er. No.
There are specialised races these days which race 100 miles in a day–but when I say specialised, I mean specialised. Firstly, they are pretty generally run by Arabian horses, because they are just about the only breed that is capable of that kind of effort due to thousands of years of breeding to survive in the harshest of conditions, to run on unstable ground at speed and with the minimum of water. But they take MONTHS of training–and you rest and pamper and massage the horse back into health afterwards and you DON’T do another marathon race for a good while.
But pre-athletic training, if owners cared at all about their horse, and they’d have to–a good horse was expensive–even bad horses were expensive–(or everyone would have had one) they didn’t jump on and ride it into the ground.
Keeping a horse was expensive too, it always amuses me when someone’s living in London and goes and gets on his horse. And up to then he’d been described as living in a small house and was as poor as a church mouse. So if he didn’t have the facilities to keep his horse in his house, or mews attached to the house, where is he keeping it? Livery stables existed of course, there was probably one on every main street in London and the livery stables in the coaching inns held hundreds of horses.
Have you heard of the expression”Hobson’s Choice“? Well it means, as you probably know “no choice at all” and stems from a livery stable owner, Thomas Hobson, who rotated his rental horses depending on which was fittest, and you took the one nearest to the door or you didn’t take anything.
I was also hugely surprised when, reading one of the Alexander Bruce “John Fielding” novels (which coincidentally, has a homosexual plot–all books seem to go gay when I read them…) when Fielding clambers into his own coach and four and drives from London to Portsmouth in a day! (and then back the next day with only a stop for water.)
Head, meet desk.
Now – there was a hugely complicated system of coachhouses set up around the country, and yes, indeedy, it was quite possible to travel from London to Portsmouth in a day because the STAGE COACHES (so-called because they stopped every 7-10 miles at coaching inns or staging inns) would alternately canter and trot the 7-10 miles, stop – change horses and travel onwards. But one set of horses? You wouldn’t do it. Your horses couldn’t do it and I was very jolted reading this, as I had been told that these books were extremely historically accurate.
as you can see, many inns still stand and you can see the carriage entrance on the right
Speeds: (obviously dependant on size and breed)
Walk: Roughly 3-4 MPH. A pleasure show horse can go as slow as 2 mph. Gaited horses– who do not trot– can do a ‘running walk’ as fast as 15 mph.
Trot: The trot is roughly 8-10 MPH. Again, a shorter striding horse could trot slower, and a horse with a long stride could move faster.
Canter/Lope: 10-17 MPH.
Gallop: This depends on the horse’s condition and athletic ability. Some horses are not built to run fast an may only do a fast canter at their best; however, the gallop is about 30 mph. Thoroughbreds, which are bred for running distance but not speed, have been clocked at over 40 MPH. Quarter horses, bred and raced for short distances at speed, can reach 50 MPH in short bursts.
So, as they say, do the maths. It’s impossible.
Plus of course, a horse needs to eat. A horse needs to drink. Often. It can’t exercise strenuously for an hour after eating and if you want to kill your horse, that’s the easiest way to do it. Horses have notoriously finicky stomachs, and colic–stomach ache to you and me–can kill a horse, even today with modern drugs. (the danger is that the horse will roll and twist its gut.) Even the smallest of foot injuries can lay a horse up for days or weeks–back previous to as late as the 1970’s and even today, depending on the value of the horse and lack on insurance–a broken bone meant a dead horse. Times that by a coach and four, or a coach and six or even eight–and you have up to 48 feet that have to be cared for.
Even looking after the stomach, and the feet, it is said that the average life of a stage-coach horse was around three years. After that they were sold off to carters and for farm work, probably a bit of a holiday for them after lugging a coach weighing more than 2 tons for an average of 10 miles at a speed of some 12 miles per hour 2 days out of 3 on crap roads…
So people, spare a thought for the horse. Get your distances right. Google. Check with someone who knows. And read Black Beauty, because that’s one of the best stories of horse welfare (and lack of) ever written, and from a horse’s perspective, too.
There’s an excellent article on coaching inns and horses here.
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Huh, just yesterday my daughter went on her first bus ride ALONE to Toronto (5 hours) and I got a call from the mother picking her up to say she might be late because their horse had colic and they were waiting for the vet. Who’d have thought I’d run across horse colic two days in a row.
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I don’t read many historicals so I don’t come across this much but I imagine things have not gotten any cheaper. Now you can buy a horse relatively cheaply, probably for $1000 you can get a decent horse and get the tack for it. THEN, unless as you say you live on a farm, it’s $350/month to board it and if it cost me $350 to get my cat’s leg x-rayed I can only imagine the cost for a horse, and the ferrier (even if you don’t use shoes they need to have their hooves cared for) and feed and, and, and …
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I do find things like distance bug me if it’s inaccurate. If I know it’s 2400 km from A to B, you can’t get there in one day and it shouldn’t take you 10 days unless you are hitch hiking or riding a bike. I did think horses could go a bit further than 10 miles, but I suppose at high speeds that would be the limit. I know my Grandfather owned horses for working, but obviously you weren’t hauling logs at a gallop, slow and steady and babied along. Without the horse, no livlihood.
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Most people don’t know and likely don’t care to think about the logistics unless it contributes in some way to the main plot. Oh and to be honest, I have no idea how far Portsmouth is from London (everything in Europe seems close together to me) so I might not think that undoable in a day if I don’t really stop and think or drag out my map. He likely assumed none of the readers would think too much either, or hoped anyway.
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By the way, interesting to read all the stats stuff. My daughter does ride (but we don’t own) so I have kind of a fascination with horsey stuff by association.
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ETA – Holy crap, I should get some kind of prize for longest most rambling pointless posts on the site. LOL Sorry.
Yes, colic is a real worry, you simply can’t leave the horse alone – you have to keep him walking, stop him lying down. I had a horse die on me with it once, and it’s something you never forget.
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Yes, they can travel longer, of course, a walking horse can walk all day, pretty much, depending on the weather, conditions – but dragging a 2 tonne coach behind you at a canter, definitely not. One of the most gruelling events – the three day event, has a 4-5 mile cross country course which is done at the gallop but sheesh – you should see the preparation and post-reparation that goes into that.
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And no-not pointless at all, dear! Glad people are finding it interesting, I do worry that people are bored to death with my fanaticism.
I don’t know if it’s because I used to love the James Herriott books, but I’ve ended up with the impression that horses are delicate creatures that will drop dead with very little provocation. So it certainly bothers me when I see a story that treats them as if they are cars and can keep going for 24 hours a day, with the odd refuelling stop.
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I read a Regency romance recently where the heroine’s family owned a stagecoach business, which was very interesting. I think it’s hard for us now to get our minds around a world prior to the railways never mind cars, and the infrastructure that went with it, coaching inns, livery stables. Heck, I can remember the first time I realised just what these “crossing sweepers” I saw referred to in historicals were actually sweeping!
They certainly can be fainting divas. I’ve had ponies who would struggle on regardless no matter what the conditions, and then the last horse I had would lie die and start shivering if he had seen a plastic bag in a hedge. But yes, there’s a lot of things that can go wrong!!
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I think that it’s an ideal opportunity for conflict, broken down coaches, lame horse, horse dying en route – and it’s something rarely seen. I suppose many of the rich DID consider them to be like cars–the whole “bearing rein” horror and docked tails (the reins kept their heads up in an unnatural pose, and the docked tails were cut off at the bone, both for smartness sake)–and the care and concern was left for the staff to deal with.
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Rafe cares about his horses, in Standish, but even he makes a stupid “I don’t have hands on with these horses so I didn’t know there was anything wrong” mistake. He’s thrown from his horse because he saddled the animal without checking the saddle area, and the horse had a nasty bite which made him get rid of the rider. I would imagine that there were a lot of conversations along the lines of “saddle xxx horse, Carruthers” and the head groom trying to say it wasn’t fit and being countermanded.
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I suppose there are some parallels, in that some people will drive their car, but when it comes to maintaining or fixing it, they shout for a mechanic. I’m sure there were people who happily rode their horse, but let other people look after it.
Absolutely spot on article Erastes
Thats one of the main reason why I no longer read historical no matter the rave reviews –
Other than the distance and the misconception on the gait of the horse… It’s also the treatment, housing and handling – just one little thing and it’s game over with me…
Off topic a little – “Lady Hawke” – is one of my favourite fantasy movie – however the one main nigggle in that show for me is the horses…
The good guys and the bad guys are riding the same horse – Heresy…..
Thanks for pointing out all the above, it does fall under fine print but shows how invested an author is in the quality of the work they present to us the reader – even contemp authors could learn a thing or two here, some things about horses never changes irrespective of the era you are writing about……
E.H>
Well said, i don’t read many contemps, but I bet there are cowboy stories with all the same kind of nonsense in them.
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You should risk the historicals though!
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I just have to shut my brain down sometimes with films and horses. OK – just HOW how are they riding spanish stallions in Russia? The Far Pavilions did it right, with Indian horses in India!
[...] i’m blogging today at Jessewave’s Blog and talking about horses and how people need to understand that they aren’t cars, particularly in historicals. Even the biggest authors seem to make the most basic of mistakes there, sadly. [...]
Wow, this was fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
thanks, Kirsten!
This is a great article! I admit that horses are a mystery to me. So far I’ve managed to avoid them in favour of ships, but it can’t be long before I’ll have to man up and tackle them. Thanks for the reminder that it’s another thing to research!
Thanks, dear – and I’m always available if you need anything in the horsey line.
Interesting article. I have to tell myself to “just let it go……..!” I “skip” it and assume that just because they didn’t specifically mention any changes or rest periods, it doesn’t mean they didn’t occur. I’m sure it’s because nothing happened at/during them that is relevant to the story.
I’m not at all knowledgeable about horses but am aware of how high maintenace they can be. And to quote my 80+ y/o parents, unless they’re working horses, they’re mighty expensive pets.
Thanks for the insights and the wonderful pics!
Oh I agree – that there would be nothing more boring that describing every rest stop – in the same way its hugely boring to read about every human meal, or every time the protag washes his face or something. But this Bruce book specifically made a boast of saying the horses made the 80 mile road trip “with only one stop for water” and I just growled at it.
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Thanks for the comment – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Fascinating!
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I am not a horsey person in the slightest, so the way they are shown in historicals has just passed me by and filed under ’stuff which might be accurate but have no way of knowing either way’.
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This is very interesting though and I don’t think I’ll be able to read historicals again without thinking about whether the horses are written correctly
Yes, that’s the annoying thing isn’t it–it all depends on one’s perspective, but then that’s what gets my goat about historicals, really. If I write one out of my comfort zone e.g. writing about lighthouses, which I’m planning to do at some point–I don’t just say “Bob went to the light room and made some necessary adjustments” – I make sure i know what I’m talking about. I don’t care if the reader doesn’t know that I got it right, but I want them to be relaxed enough to believe I do–and readers will read “he travelled 400 miles in 5 days” and simply believe it’s true. Anal of me, I know.
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Thanks for the comment, dear!
[...] It’s quite nicely researched, and I wish I had that to say more often. Usage of the word “marquisate” for example which is entirely correct, a journey by carriage to Derbyshire over vile, rutted roads which took days–and extended further because of the inconvenience of Ian’s sister–rather than hours. It’s touches like this which really bring a book to life. (See my recent rant on horses!!) [...]
I am a serious horseperson and have three horses of my own (I don’t even like to think about the vet and farrier bills…), so this is one of the things that can throw me out of a story more quickly than almost anything. And even modern-day stories that attempt to involve horses often get things woefully wrong. Sometimes having too much knowledge about a topic does make it difficult to be a reader!
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My horsey friends and I always laugh at movies, e.g., the Lord of the Rings movies, in which no one on a horse ever walks or trots anywhere – they leap on the horse in the stable, tear out of the stable – and the town – at a top speed gallop, continue across the countryside at the same pace, and then gallop into the stable in the next town, screech to a stop, and fling themselves off the horse. Or Gladiator, in which Russell Crowe apparently travels from Germania to Spain in a matter of days – again at a full gallop.
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In books (or movies), authors seldom pay any attention to the realities of terrain – that galloping at night across a field, or even a rutted road, is a pretty sure way to end up with at the least a lame horse (lame horses in fiction always seem to recover in a matter of days – I look at my two who have been stall-bound for three months with suspensory ligament injuries and only wish!), and quite possibly broken legs.
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I always think that riders at that time, even those who didn’t care much about their animals as animals, at least would have been likely to have a greater sense of self preservation than that. If without a horse they’d be stranded miles from anywhere (without a cell phone!), possibly in dangerous conditions (highwaymen, bad weather, whatever), they wouldn’t be likely to be so careless with its health.
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Another thing that I always notice is when riders in books never fall off their horses, or their horses never spook, or when book characters from historical times all seem to be equally good riders, like it was an inborn talent for people born at that time.
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Anyway – I enjoyed this post, though I do find it’s quite difficult for those who lack any first-hand horse knowledge to really “get” some of this stuff. I’ve learned that it’s hard to understand how truly delicate these seemingly tough and sturdy beasts can be unless you’ve experienced it – most people are very surprised to learn this! And for people used to transportation that goes when and wherever we want it to, at our whim entirely, it’s difficult to shift to a different mindset in which mobility is dependent on a living creature, with all the limitations that implies.
Thanks Justacat–yes, I know it’s specialised knowledge that many people won’t know/care about, but I get as annoyed about this as others would be with ships, or people who live in a city which is described wrongly!
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ARGH! Gladiator – yes, galloping to Spain, and the horse died at the end, I believe. he’d have been dead a LONG time before he got to Spain!
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That’s a very good point about a horse being a life-line. You really wouldn’t want to be stranded with lame horse in the middle of nowhere. It’s happened to me, and thank god I could find someone with a phone to ring for help!
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And yes, they are surprisingly fragile. Probably why many farmers used oxen before horses became more popular!!
All I know about horses is that the ones my MIL owns hate me and always try to scrape me off on the nearest tree whenever I’ve attempted to go riding with her, so this was interesting to me
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I totally get why it bugs you so much when people get things so very wrong. I feel the same way when I’m reading or watching TV/movies and come across things that are wildly off base about medicine, nursing, etc. Drives me around the bend.
Heh – yes, they really know when someone’s not in charge! I miss riding!
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I’m glad you have the same experiences, I can imagine that medical inaccuracies must drive medical people insane!
Thank you! I’ve bookmarked this column and both the linked sites.
I read Black Beauty …gods, decades ago, I was probably only 8 or 9, and it’s really stuck with me.
Can I say a big THANK YOU (which never got into Tangled Web due to the lost glossary) for the equine assistance? Philip owes most of his horse sense to you and my friend Terri the vet tech.
What is wonderful about BB is that it’s one of those books that really works on different levels–as a kid you read it as a horse adventure story, but as you get older you appreciate the fact that it’s such an important historical document, too–the things that people did to horses just for fashion. I remember when I was a kid and went to the local stables, there were several horses there with docked tails, it was as normal then as dogs with docked tails today (or recently–i’m glad to that that that is illegal here now at last) and thank God they made docking horses tails illegal in the 60’s. What a barbaric tradition.
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You are very welcome, btw – anytime.
Thank you so much for this article, it is an automatic bookmark. The use of horses in my writing is going to be reevaluated for the better. Bye bye horses; hello donkeys, mules, oxen, and goats.
Hm, maybe fainting goats would work. ^_^
Thanks, Kim – I was worried no-one would find it useful, and so I’m very happy that it is!
I love this post!
When I was researching for “Beaudry’s Ghost”, which takes place during a Civil War re-enactment, I sweated over maps and mileage and how different horses could handle the distance traveling mostly on sand – pack horses vs. hitched horses vs. officers’ mounts.
In the end, it was logical that a main character’s horse would run out of stamina at a critical point in the story. No horse is a machine; there’s only so much an average horse can withstand even with adequate food and water!
[...] provoking posts at Reviews by Jessewave. A recent post related to horses in historical novels. Neigh…I blame Hollywood talks about horses and mistakes writers making with them. Note Reviews by Jessewave reviews gay [...]
I’m a bit late to the conversation, aren’t I? Another book to look at for a very similar point: _Slaughterhouse Five_, of all things. Thanks for the post. I get into a similar swivet when someone is writing werewolves and puts full moons at some peculiar distance apart, which is to say any distance other than 28 days!