What should authors call the little rosebuds?

I was reading a book a couple of nights ago and the author called the guys’ assholes (arseholes if you’re British) :-D  everything from clinical terms like anus and rectum, to words like chute. All of these terms made me want to gag or cringe. Anus and rectum make me think of going to the bathroom or to the doctor and I certainly don’t want to think of buttsex in medical lingo.  The last term “chute” made me think gross things like you know what.  What comes out of a chute other than garbage?

On the other hand some authors call it a hole (which I don’t find at all offensive because it is a hole), or “passage” while others avoid calling it anything at all and just use words like “push in” to describe the act of having buttsex. Gather ye rosebuds while you may.

So what do you think authors should name this body part with a thousand nerve endings, that wonderful area where the cock goes like a heat seeking missile for ultimate pleasure? I’m trying to be helpful here because I believe some authors have a major problem with the name game and don’t know what to call the little hole in the middle of a guy’s body between those gorgeous, plump cheeks and just behind his perineum and balls. Writers don’t seem to have as many problems calling a dick a dick or a cock, although a few of them are still shy and call that truncheon between guys’ legs by its proper medical name - ”penis”.

Sex is supposed to be erotic and everything to do with hot mansex should entice – especially the language – so why are writers having such difficulty coming up with words that lure you into a scene and don’t sound like going to the bathroom? Words are, after all, what writing is about and for a writer to be at a loss for words is difficult to understand. Are we still in the dark ages when we were afraid to use the “F” word in books?

Readers can you help our authors eloquently describe that hole between the buttcheeks so it doesn’t sound as if the guys are going to do a No. 2 in the middle of a hot love scene?  :-D   I don’t know about you but the kind of language I have read recently is enough to turn me off M/M romances forever.

149 Responses to “What should authors call the little rosebuds?”

  1. scspaine says:

    Some of the oddest I’ve read have been “the winking star of his anus” and “chocolate pucker”. Both made me laugh, so I guess that counts as pulling me out of the story… chocolate pucker had a side of ew though because it made me think someone might need a remedial course in Wiping 101.

    That said, no one term really turns me off completely as long as it’s not overused throughout the book and it’s in context.

    Even man-pussy/man-cunt, etc. are okay if, for example, it’s used while talking dirty during sex. I mean, I certainly wouldn’t expect him to say “would you please thrust into my rectal cavity with a bit more force? there’s a dear.” … so coarser language, in such as situation, would be much preferred and much more acceptable.

    • Wave says:

      You made me laugh so hard especially about a remedial course in Wiping 101. where do you guys get this stuff? :-D

      *
      >>“would you please thrust into my rectal cavity with a bit more force? there’s a dear.” < <
      Don’t you dare give writers any ideas with that line. I’ll bet you someone is writing this in an M/F romance somewhere. Please don’t let them do it in M/M. You’re right that sometimes gritty language is the only thing that would work – trust me I know after visiting Nifty over the years. However, I don’t know about romances – maybe gay fiction or porn. :-D

      • Tracey says:

        Because I am evil, I did put “Would you please thrust into my rectal cavity with a bit more force?” into a Google search.
        *
        Top searches that didn’t have to do with proctology or searches at airports:
        *
        1) A porn story from–I swear to God–Enemas4fun.com.
        *
        2) Another porn story called “Mom and Son.” The little blurb after the link also included the line “He cried noisily and started pouring his semen deep inside my anal cavity.”
        *
        I…really didn’t dare continue glancing at what the search engine had found.
        *
        Suffice to say, Wave, that you were right: someone HAD used that line before, in porn if not in romance. And we really DON’T need anyone to use it ever again.
        *

        • Erastes says:

          ew ew ew “started pouring” really sounds like an enema doesn’t it?

        • Wave says:

          Tracey
          Thank you for doing the research.
          There really is a site called Enemas4fun.com.
          What else will they think of? I’m getting sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Eewww!!!!
          *
          >> Suffice to say, Wave, that you were right: someone HAD used that line before, in porn if not in romance. And we really DON’T need anyone to use it ever again< <
          *
          I’m hoping that the authors who access this site on a regular basis will read this post and all of the fancy names and medical terms will disappear in time. I still have to review the book that started all this. :) Let’s just keep it simple, just like we do with cock, prick and dick. :-D

  2. TCBlue says:

    As I tend to be slow and always late to the party…

    * *

    I’ll cop to having used the word anus once or twice, but not as a regular thing. In fact, it was primarily (as someone said in a previous comment) to avoid repetition. *blushes*

    * *

    On the whole, I try to stick with simple terms, when necessary. Hole, opening, entry… and on one or two occasions, I may have written something along the lines of ” he pushed inside *name here*’s tight, flexible ring” (which yes, is a little much, in retrospect. LOL).

    * *

    Rosebud doesn’t really do it for me because in my mind, it’s to similar to budded, which I’ve seen (and used) with regards to nipples. And starfish/starfruit just makes me laugh because it seems so oddly random. I mean, I suppose I can see where the concept comes from, but by that criteria, sex-eel and meat-zucchini are equally valid. Just because there’s some vague resemblance (and I do mean VAGUE) doesn’t necessarily mean it should be pointed out. *hee*

    * *

    I’m with pretty much everyone here with regards to things like “man-cunt”, “boy-pussy” and the like in romance. They don’t generally work for me as a reader. I’m not entirely sure why, but maybe some part of my brain interprets it as the one saying it (usually whichever character is dominant in the sex at the time) wishing the guy they’re banging was female, which somewhat derails the whole romance between MEN aspect for me. Like I said, I’m not sure. I just know I don’t like it. LOL

    * *

    As a side note, I did once read a book with a lead character who was in a permanent state of transition (in that she had breasts but also a dick and had no plan to change that). This character constantly referred to her cock as her “man-clit” which I found just as off-putting as “man-pussy” or whatever.

    * *

    Just saying. :P

    ~Tis

    • Wave says:

      TC
      >>I’ll cop to having used the word anus once or twice, but not as a regular thing. < <
      *
      We’ll forgive you this time. I don’t mind repetition as long as the words are commonly used terms. In M/M sex, asshole, or hole or any number of words are available so there’s no need to get fancy. Any woman reading M/M books or gay porn knows these terms very well. :)

      *
      ..I’m with pretty much everyone here with regards to things like “man-cunt”, “boy-pussy” < <

      *
      these terms are never OK with me in M/M romance. I don’t want to see “pussy” or “cunt” anywhere near a book about gay men.
      *
      Simple is good and anything like rosebud should be banned. :)
      *
      Thanks for commenting TC. I’ll be checking your future M/M books. :)

  3. scspaine says:

    I LOVE “sex-eel.” I think I’m going to start using that in RL. :)

    • TCBlue says:

      *sniggers* Feel free, scspaine! Just please let me know the reaction you get the first time you do! *hee* (Yes, I may have linguistic-voyeuristic tendencies. :P )

      ~Tis

  4. [...] thanks to everyone who commented on my 2 posts – What Should Authors Call The Little Rosebuds here and Lurking: Why Do Bloggers Lurk? [...]

  5. Wave, I will confess to having used both althought not sexually. It was a serial killer making mockery of the children’s rhyme, “I love little pussy.”
    ~
    I encounter it most in stuff written by men. One more reason I tend to avoid male-written erotica off the web.
    ~
    Keep it simple, keep it sexy.

    • Wave says:

      Angel
      >>It was a serial killer making mockery of the children’s rhyme, “I love little pussy.”<<
      You’re serious? Boy, all the fun I miss by not paying attention.
      *
      I do like both male and female erotica as long as it’s about two guys, and I have my favourite authors who don’t get into child porn or golden showers or something else that might squick me.

  6. countrygirlxxoo says:

    When I read, I just like for it to be called simple terms (hole, asshole, arse, anus). I don’t mind some of the more “flowery” terms either (rosette, rosebud), and I don’t even mind the harlequinesque descriptions (tunnel of love, volcano sheath) if used in the right tone (kidding, or camping it up but not earnestly serious). I’m like some of the other commenters, though; I don’t like to read female terms (man-pussy, man-cunt) or just disgusting sounding (chute, shit hole) in the stories I read. It just throws me right out of the mood and gives me an unfavorable feeling toward the story.

    • Wave says:

      Hi Countrygirl
      Thanks for commenting.
      *

      I think it’s safe to say that most of us like it simple – hole, asshole, arse, passage etc. I must say that since M/M books are about gay men I don’t really go for “tunnel of love”, or “volcano sheath” (neither of which I had ever heard of – just goes to show that I don’t read the right books) :-D Definitely chute or shit hole would not be among my faves and the same goes for man-pussy or any variation therof.

  7. [...] Rosebud post last week was hugely popular. Who knew that so many of you were interested in what to call [...]

  8. [...] has a post about euphemism regarding the anus and how flowery is too flowery and how pooey is too pooey.  As Tracey says – using rosebud [...]

  9. Sorry about the way-late reply on this, but I was just thinking about this this morning, and then I read this post. So, yeah.

    I used anus, exactly once, and it seemed to fit when I was writing it, but I’ve wondered about it ever since.

    As far as I recall, I’ve only ever seen female references to male body parts by male authors, and I don’t mind them per se – like most things it depends on the context, the tone of the work, etc., etc.

    Things like “chute” however, definitely don’t work for me, and are offputting, even as dialouge/dirty talk. Dirty talk can get too dirty (for me; ymmv).

    On the other hand, dirty talking can be unintentionally hilarious – but really, that’s kind of fair. Quite a lot of dirty talk probably is hilarious in real life, except (or indeed, even) in the exact moment it’s said. Sex scenes don’t always have to be sexy – they can be sad, or moving, or funny, or whatever, and depending on the tone you’re going for, your word choice will probably vary.

    That said, your word choice probably won’t work for everybody. I’ve never cared for the word “dick”, though I quite like “cock”, and I have no idea why about either of them.

    As we’re on the subject, one of the grossest things I see in stories, and it is all over the place, is the phrase “shit-eating grin”. That’s a horrible mental image, and it doesn’t matter who’s face you put it, it’s gonna make me :( It doesn’t help that I usually see it on the face of the hero/his lover. Yuck.

    But as I said, it’s everywhere, so clearly I’m in the minority on that one!

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