Title: Self Preservation
Authors: Ethan Day
Publisher: Loose ID
Genre: Contemporary GLBT (M/M)
Length: Novel (129 pages)
Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5
A Guest Review by Aunt Lynn
MY BLURB
Davis Andrews always thought he would get back together with the love of his life, Jack Monroe, even though they’ve been apart for six years. That is until he gets a call from Jack saying that he is getting married to Tadd Austin, a man who he’s known for only two weeks. Davis simply can’t let this happen, so complete with a makeover and his best friend Deseree Wildwood, he heads to Chicago to break up the happy couple, make Jack see the light, and get his Happily Ever After, dammit. But once he arrives, challenges abound in multiple forms, including sexy Brit Alex Parker.
THE REVIEW
I had mixed feelings about Self Preservation, a tale of personal journey, desperation and the perseverance of true love. I didn’t love it, I didn’t hate it. It’s Queer as Folk meets My Best Friend’s Wedding, a movie I have never seen all the through in one sitting, but know enough that I can say that I hummed “I Say a Little Prayer (For You)” as I read. I thought some parts were comedic, some sad to watch, and some heartwarming, but all of it fairly predictable. That’s not necessarily a bad thing as I can enjoy a story even knowing what is going to happen. The story is told mostly from Davis’s POV, though there are times when it unpredictably shifts to other characters (something that drives me crazy), and there are two chapters of flashbacks, which without those, we would not get much insight into Jack’s character.
Davis is the owner of an architectural preservation and restoration business in Illinois. Having lived his life alone for the past six years, he is sure that there will come a time where the stars and planets will all align and he will get back together with his former lover of four years during college, Jack, with whom he remained close even after Jack moved to New York to pursue an acting career. Two things happen in one day: his best friend Deseree, a high-profile fashion designer, shows up on his doorway unannounced, and Jack calls to say that he’s found The One and is getting married — that weekend — to a man who he met two weeks before, and he wants Davis there. Thrown into an emotional tizzy, he insists to Des that this simply cannot happen; after all, Jack is meant to be with him, not this other man, architect Tadd Austin (immediately dubbed “Toad Ass-ton”), who he just met. It will be simple — he’ll get a makeover to look absolutely fabulous and irresistible and wedge himself between the love birds. Predictably, problems arise: he acts completely unlike himself, so much so that Jack and his mother, Candace, and even Tadd, know something is up; Tadd is perfect; his little (or not-so-little) schemes don’t seem to be working; and there’s this attractive, mysterious British guy who seems to want in on the plan.
I started thinking of this book of as Davis’s journey. During my first read, I had a lot of questions about Davis’s actions, especially toward the end of the story and his interactions with Alex, Tadd’s best friend (like why, if Davis is still head over heels in lurve with Jack, irrationally and maybe delusionally so, he continued to flirt with Alex and hop in the sack with him?). But as I re-read it — a few parts more than once — I realized that it’s possible that somewhere along the line he began to realize, just a teensy bit, that maybe, just maybe, he needed to move on. My heart broke for him then, but I was hopeful that perhaps he could stop living in the past and get on with his life.
Regarding the secondary cast, I loved Alex, who took a chance on Davis knowing the possibility existed that he could get his heart broken; Deseree, Davis’s fag hag best friend, was a hoot, and I loved that she instantly bonded with Alex; and I was glad that Candace, Jack’s flamboyant cabaret-singing mother, was someone special in Davis’s life. So often in m/m books, women are betrayed as nasty versions of the gender, and I’m glad that didn’t happen here.
A few issues I had:
Frankly, I cringed throughout much of it, mostly because of the train wreck I knew was coming. We’ve all been there; you just know something is going to go wrong, screaming “Davis, this so isn’t going to work! Back out now with your dignity intact!,” but not unlike those highway accidents you just have to gawk at while passing, I just had to keep reading while peeking through my fingers. It was hard for me to watch Davis’s desperation and the events unfold, knowing where it was likely going, but maybe reader discomfort is a good thing?
Additionally, I never understood why Davis waited six years to get back with Jack when he claimed to lurve him so muchly, couldn’t imagine a future without him, couldn’t bear to think of him with someone else. Maybe it’s like the saying that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone? I don’t know. There’s a short conversation that Davis and Alex have about this very thing, but it was not enough to convince me. Here is part:
“There’s something that happens to you when you come across the right person. You’ll know when it happens to you, Alex. And I do believe it will happen to you, and then you’ll understand.”
“Understand what?” Alex asked, rubbing Davis’s shoulder.
Davis stared blankly across the room. “What it feels like when you want another person so much that you find yourself doing and changing entire aspects of your personality just to be with them.”
Davis says the words, but his actions — or lack of — over the past six years (save the last few days) belie that.
OVERALL
Despite the issues I had, I thought it was a pretty good debut from a new author, and based on what I read here, I am looking forward to his next story, due out sometime this spring.
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Great Review Lynn. Very thoughtful and balanced. You give the readers the good, (of which there was some) the bad (a little more of that) and the ugly (lots of that to go around). As you said in the review, the story was a train wreck waiting to happen.
Based on the fact that you’re prepared to try this author’s next book I think that’s a good sign that he got quite a few things right.
Thanks Wave.
Based on the fact that you’re prepared to try this author’s next book I think that’s a good sign that he got quite a few things right.
Yes, he did. I liked Ethan’s writing overall and Davis’ voice, even though I didn’t always agree with or understand his actions. I liked that it wasn’t jammed packed with smexxin, leaving a lot of room for the story. I will definitely be reading the new book.
Good review Lynn. I think we’ve all seen those cringe-worthy action in real life. It was interesting to see two perspectives on the book, different but still finding common ground on some issues. I’ll add it to my “I’ll see” list.
Great review Lynn. You’ve put into words many of the feelings I had whilst reading the book, although I wasn’t peeking too much behind my fingers.
Tam: I think the two reviews are complimentary with their differences, and if folks like it, maybe we’ll do more.
Jenre: Thanks. I think I’m hyper-sensitive, maybe, and react a little strongly sometimes to watching events unfold. Maybe others won’t have the same reaction.
Hello and a second thanks to Aunt Lynn for reading/reviewing Self Preservation. Regardless of the outcome of the review, I do appreciate that you took the time to read my book and carefully put together your thoughts and feelings.
I will admit, my inner drama queen is sorta loving the back and forth, and this whole crying thing has totally solved the “what the hell am I gonna blog about now?” issue. Big sloppy kisses for that!
I still cannot agree with Emmy over the comment about my editor, which I still find inappropriate. At the end of the day, no one outside of myself and the editor, knows what went on behind the scenes. That fact alone is reason enough for any complaints to be leveled at me alone.
Self Preservation was intented to be a fun and silly romp full of characters I’d totally wanna hang with in real life, but at the end of the day I can respect other POV’s…no pun intended.
Ethan
Ethan
I hope you appreciate all of this work on your behalf.:) I’m happy that I asked 2 reviewers to read and write reviews about this book but it was just happenstance .. maybe I saw you in my rear view mirror.
There will be no more comments about editors regarding your book, and perceptions rightly or wrongly about the role they played in this case. They do have a role in helping writers but ultimately, as you said, the outcome of a book is the writer’s decision.
I look forward to many more books from you and my recent visit to your site indicated that you have a treasure trove just waiting to be unleashed on an unwary public
DD
Do drop by tomorrow to check out the hawt menz, but be early or the best choices will be snapped up. Have a good evening.
Lol. My first thought when I saw the heading was “wait, isn’t that review posted a few days ago already?
I didn’t know there were going to be more than one review on the same books, but I love that – I’m one of those weird people who can hunt down dozen of reviews of the same book (especially books I’ve read too) simply for the fun of comparing them 
This book sounds like a gay soap opera.
Melodrama, love, deception, unexpected twists, over-the-top friends, sexy strangers, hot sex…LOL. The blurb reminds me a little of Almost Like Being in Love, guy embarking on a road trip hoping to win back the one man he parted ways with but never forgot. Looks like the treatment is very different though. Despite the mild rating you and *scrolls down* Emmy (whose review I’ll try to read later too) gave this book, I’m still curious about it. Not sure I’m going to follow through, but at the very least I’ll keep the name of the author in mind.
Thanks for the review Lynn!
Thanks for stopping by again, Ethan. Self Preservation was indeed fun at times (and a little sad and heartwarming at others), and I am happy with the outcome of the story (Alex is yummy, thanks very much for giving him to us!). I look forward to your next book.
Mary: I read and really liked Almost Like Being in Love, though it so very different in format (epistolary). I’m trying to remember, does Travis have any idea what he would find once he found Craig? He just knows where he is, yes? But, yeah, basic plot the same: a journey to win back the man you love.
And yes, Self Preservation is definitely like a gay soap (Emmy mentioned that, too). She writes (and I love this line):
Alex is attracted to Davis, who is in love with Jack, who is engaged to marry Tadd, who is Alex’s best friend…daytime soaps at their finest.
Lynn: no, Travis has no idea what he’s going to find at the end of the road. Actually, when he leaves he doesn’t even know where Craig is: he goes to Craig’s mother’s office hoping to find his address in her Rolodex
D I liked that aspect of the book, the fact you don’t quite know if Travis and Craig are really going to end up together, or if it is a learning-to-move-on story (I was realy happy at the one the author picked ;DD)
And there I thought I was original with my soap comment. *pouts* Damn Emmy for having faster wits. Alex is attracted to Davis, who is in love with Jack, who is engaged to marry Tadd, who is Alex’s best friend… Lol. You are right, this line is great. I’ll read Emmy’s review once I’m back home in a few hours.
Mary: Now I remember. Exactly, wonderful book.
Thank You!! I do appreciate all the time and energy everyone at Jessewave has put into my book.
Was it just you seeing me in your rearview mirror, or the fact I was chucking stuff at you trying to get your attention? I’m sure you’ve noticed by this point I’m not exactly shy.
Thanks as well for checking out my website.
A prior engagement is unfortunately going to interfere with Friday’s hawt menz, fun…but there is always next week!!
Ethan Day
Good review as always — and I thought, as a side point, that Ethan took the criticisms well. Yes? This is what I like to see — in fact, I blogged at Loose Id this week about authors NOT trainwrecking over bad review. And this was by NO means a bad review, only a critical review (big difference there).
What’s this about Ethan’s editor? Ethan’s editor is MY editor, and I adore her.
Josh
Thank you for coming by. I do know that Ethan’s editor is your Editor. Treva and I talked about that a couple of days ago. *g*
I think Ethan has a terrific future, and this controversy about his book will no doubt spark a book buying splurge on the part of readers. I have set aside some time to read his book to find out what all the fuss is about.:)
I was going to blog about the delicate dance between editor and author — what you can do and what you can’t — and decided only editors and authors would understand. But it’s an interesting process and no editor-author relationship is the same. Best case scenario, though, the author and editor do bond. It–it’s kinda like a romance. Or maybe a war novel where soldiers bond while under fire from the enemy.
Treva
It–it’s kinda like a romance. Or maybe a war novel where soldiers bond while under fire from the enemy.
Thank you for coming by and joining the discussion. For those of us (readers AND humble reviewers) who ask this question sometimes especially in the case of a first time author “where was the editor?” your perspective is very revealing. Unless you’re a writer you have no idea about how the process works. What you describe sounds very much like a marriage, especially the bit about soldiers and enemy fire.*g*
I look forward to something in the future from you on Livejournal about the relationship, because it would help those of us “on the outside” to understand this unique balancing act. I must admit that because I read so many books for review purposes I frequently ask the question about the role of the editor. I think it would help many reviewers if you did post about this relationship — heaven knows, I don’t want to blame the poor editor for something outside their control.
These 2 reviews have certainly garnered lots of comments. Who knew that my screw up of asking two guest reviewers to review the same book would have such positive results?
Thank you for coming by Treva and think about writing that post – after all, you’re uniquely qualified since you are Editor-in-Chief for LI. *g*
Thanks for chiming in Treva. Another perspective, especially from a professional, is always appreciated.
Was it just you seeing me in your rearview mirror, or the fact I was chucking stuff at you trying to get your attention?
That was you Ethan? I had to take the car in to get the mud and other gross stuff shampooed off, so there’s a bill on the way to you *g*
I don’t think after all the discussions on this blog about your book that you need to have any concerns about whether readers will buy it. Everyone decided they wanted to read the book that was causing all the fuss so maybe we’ll do this again when your next book is released. You can send us part of your royalty cheque. There’s also a bill on the way to you for all the writing time I’m putting in about a book I did not review and STILL haven’t read.
Have a great weekend and enjoy the hawt menz.*g*